Not Myself
I wake up every morning, wondering "who am I". I am in the body I was born in, but I just don’t feel the same. A faint memory of me I use to know, floats around in my head, and as quickly as it comes to focus; it suddenly fades away. I don’t like this “new me”, except I didn’t have the choice. Now just wandering the world... Memories forgotten. Conversations slip away. Constantly frustrated as it never was that way. My joy has been depleted, and now I’m scared of everything. This person I am is foreign, but no one knows I’m struggling.
My actions and thoughts are cut short, or overthink it until it hurts. Once that would’ve been natural, is now having to be forced. Though trying every day; never seeming to gain control. Just hoping that someday, my old self will return. A glimpse or a moment sometimes appears, but is doesn’t last for very long; as somewhere deep inside my brain, the real me is fighting to get out.
Now each day gets a little harder, and I fall a little more behind. I’m wandering the world completely lost, with a war within my mind.
Not myself since 2015.
